Hello and Happy New Year! I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays, I know we did! Christmas was especially exciting this year because Jade is at the age where she really gets it, every part of it. Seeing her relish in the magic of it all brings me back to my most special Christmas mornings as a kid, and really brings everything full circle in the world of holiday bliss. 

​Anyhoo, it’s the new year which means we’re all running full speed ahead to tackle our New Year’s resolutions. In the past, I’ve toyed with resolutions such as these:

– I’m going to workout EVERY day.

– I’m going to eat healthy, no more junk food. EVER.

– I’m going to LIMIT myself to 1-2 cocktails, 3 TOPS if it’s a special occasion.

And shocker, I failed at all of them…quickly. Why? Because for me, they’re not realistic, not at all. They’re extremely extreme and leave no room for error, so failure is inevitable. And when we fail, we get down on ourselves, and when we get down on ourselves, we can really dig ourselves into a hole or a “rut” as I like to call it. So in a nutshell, I’ve learned that these types of resolutions for me just don’t work.

So what I decided to do this year instead was to self reflect. I thought about the existing goals I have, the way I parent, the way I treat my husband, my family, my friends and myself, and figured out where there’s room for improvement. How can I be better? What can I do to help reach my goals? How can I show my love more deeply? Basically, if awards were handed out at the age of (almost) 36 for Most Improved Individual, how could I win the trophy?

I didn’t set aside time to sit down and specifically think about these things, but rather let my feelings on the subject come to me. I’ve learned that forcing and rushing things like this don’t work, and that I have to let my thoughts and ideas come naturally in order for them to stick. So throughout this reflection period, I discovered what I can do to bring home that trophy. To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, here’s a glimpse:

– I’ve noticed that I seem to be on auto-pilot, answering “No” to most of Jade’s questions about what she wants to do, and I really don’t like it. I mean, of course we need to tell our children “No” sometimes, but I’ve started to say it before really thinking about the question she’s asking. Half the time, I change my tune and say “Yes” anyway, which I’m sure to her is a bit confusing. So I’m going to take a second to think before I respond. I’m going to get better.

– I am such a grump in the morning, and I know it’s not what’s best for me or my family. I’m notorious for blaming the fact that I’m not a morning person on the fact that I’m such a night owl, but what I really hear myself saying deep within is that I really wish I was a morning person. How nice would it be to get up before the kids wake up to workout, shower, and/or just sit and have a quiet cup of coffee to start the day? I always tell myself that this would be AMAZING, but I rarely ever do it. I’m going to get better.

– I love this blog. I love writing it, I love reading people’s responses and I love realizing that it just might be helping others. But I’m still a rookie blogger. And that’s ok, but I want to graduate to an actual blogger. I want to figure out how to grow my blog, and share it with all of the people who might benefit from it. My little dream is that all of this leads to inspirational speaking engagements and maybe even a book one day. But if I don’t graduate from rookie blogger status, it’s unlikely that I get there. So I’m going to work harder, and I’m going to get better.

Now none of these things are groundbreaking, but it’s not always about the big ideas. Sometimes the small things make up the most important things. At the end of the day, I just want to do better at being me. 

I’ve started on the improvements and love how much better I already feel. I feel lighter on my feet, more positive and overall, happier. I even think other people are starting to notice my improved self too. I called my sister yesterday morning just to say hi, and in a funny tone, she goes, “What’s going on?”. “What do you mean?” I said, and she responded with, “I don’t know, you just sound really happy!” And I was, I felt great.

So I’m excited about my self reflection versus my typical New Year’s resolution process. There are no harsh guidelines, it doesn’t mean I have to be perfect to succeed and it doesn’t mean I’m going to kick my own ass if things fall by the wayside. It simply means that I’ve brought awareness to what is important to me and realized where there is room for improvement. I’m going to do better and try really really hard to bring home that trophy.

If you haven’t ever done so, I highly encourage you to self reflect. Let yourself feel, even as you do things like wash the dishes, sort the laundry or commute to work. Think about yourself and what’s important to you. Ask yourself if there’s anything you can do better. And if so, find a way to make it happen. Get out there and win that trophy – I never said there’s only one!

Have a great week everyone!

Cheers! Charlotte 

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