People judge. They judge nicely, not so nicely, and somewhere in between. We can’t fix it, there’s no cure, it is what is is. While many people could use a lesson in the delivery of their judgement, at the end of the day, they still judge. So the sooner we come to terms with this, the sooner we can move on and do what we want.
Ok, so why the rant about judging? Because we need to better understand it so as not to let it run our lives.
The definition of “judge” is to form an opinion or conclusion about. Even though it’s possible to form an opinion or conclusion about someone or something in a positive manner, too many of us worry about judgement made towards us negatively:
– Did I say the right thing?
– Did I do the right thing?
– Did I wear the right outfit?
– Do they think I’m nice?
– Do they think I did a good job?
If we keep worrying about these things, what everyone else thinks, are we being true to ourselves? Are we really doing what we want? Probably not. Let me use myself as an example:
About three years ago, I was approached by an old friend about starting my own skincare business. Most of you have probably heard of the company, Rodan + Fields. Initially I blew it off as something I was not interested in doing, but as time went by, my curiosity heightened. I watched a few friends launch their businesses and they looked so happy. They were setting goals and reaching them. They were being themselves and loving it. I thought to myself, hmmm, maybe I can do this. Actually no, I want to do this.
But then, the fear of what others would think got in the way.
The first time I told my husband I was interested in starting my own R+F business, he asked two questions:
1. When do you think you’ll have time to tend to the business?
2. Who is going to buy the products?
These were two very simple and logical questions. Instead of answering the questions, I high-tailed it to a state of panic, thinking, “Why would I ever think starting my own business would be a good idea? He’s right, I have no time. I’m a stay at home mom and a wife, and that’s what I do. If I carved out time to work on my own business, the kids would feel neglected, I bet my husband would feel neglected, the house would surely fall apart and basically all hell would break loose. And I mean seriously, who would I sell this stuff to? I love the products, but that doesn’t mean anyone else will. Plus, everyone will think I’m the new annoying sales lady in town. I don’t want to be the annoying sales lady in town. No. No. Nope. Not going to do it.”
Not once in this state of panic did I think about myself and what I want. Not once. My entire decision not to do it was based on the negative assumption of what everyone else would think of me if I decided to do it.
Well guess what, after a little over two years (yup, two years 😳) of going back and forth with myself about whether or not I should do this, I decided to do it. I started the damn business because I wanted to start the damn business.
I finally realized that sure, things around the house might change a little bit, but is that going to make me a bad mom and wife? I don’t think so. And sure, some people will think I’m the annoying sales lady in town, but there will also be people happy to hear from me. Judgement works in every which way. I can’t control it, so I might as well move on and do what I want. To say that I’m happy I did would be an understatement.
My challenge for you as we go into the weekend is to think about something you have really wanted to do but haven’t done due to fear of what other people will think about you. Instead of worrying about all of the negative ways in which people may judge you, how would it make you feel if you went ahead and did it? Think about it. Your wants and needs are so important. Embrace them and enjoy being YOU.
If this post resonates with you, please like and share for the chance that it will do the same for others. Cheers and Happy Friday! 😀